Any day is a good day that ends and you can put your head to your pillow and feel like you did your best that day. It’s not about succeeding at everything you attempted, making the world a better place, solving world peace, ending hunger, figuring out why one side is wrong and the other is right, but just that you did your best today.

There are many days I go to bed and wonder what I did today that made the world better or worse. There’s that scenario, I’m sure most of us have had, where we wonder who would miss us if we didn’t exist tomorrow? Who would think about us when we’re no longer here and who would mourn our loss? Do we make a difference in others’ lives enough to impact their day even after we no longer occupy that space? I remember reading once that people never die so long as we remember them. I think that’s why funerals and wakes are so important. We swap stories, share moments, experiences we had with the person who isn’t physically there any more. Others tell us their experiences of the one who has gone and we are heartened that these relative strangers are sad as well as us that the one we just lost is no longer here.

There’s the expression of “progress not perfection” which is something I think many of us don’t adhere to or remember. We are told, endlessly, do things well, do them perfectly. And, then, someone invented duct tape. The other one I like is “I can start my day over at any time.” I’ve lived that one many many times. I can start a relationship over at any time if the other person is willing to figure it out with me. I can apologize. I have the ability to accept my mistakes so long as the one who’s been injured understands I’m fallible. If perfection in others is something you wish you had more of in your life, I’d suggest buying a doll that you can dress up, pose, make up just as you wish it would be and then realizing even when you get everything you want, does that make you happy? There’s this great movie called “Ruby Sparks” that is about this writer who writes the perfect woman (for him, of course) in every way. All of her details down to the skinned knee she got when she was a child are in the details. Then, one day, he comes down to the kitchen and there she is, making breakfast. He’s willed her into existence from just his words. She is exactly as described, in love with him, and the perfect embodiment of his perfect mate. Of course, as the story progresses you see that she isn’t perfect in every way. We cannot conceive of perfection with an imperfect mind. So, he sets about changing her on paper to make her “more” perfect. Changing things that he wanted to tweak in all the scenarios he wished she were. Hilarity (and heartbreak) ensues. I’d tell you the end of the movie but that would be telling. I think of this movie often when I think of wanting people to be just as we want them to be. We cannot be the directors in others’ lives. We can only direct what we want from us in the world and hope that we have